Road Rage

I just got done spending over an hour in stop-and-go-10mph-or-less traffic. It was quite a workout. I never thought I would lose weight in traffic until I started driving the Ford Fiesta. Working the clutch and driving with tint-less windows sure makes you feel like you're running laps...or doing crunches...out in the sun.

What I'm trying to get to is that a man driving a tow truck next to me in traffic witnessed my first rage attack on the road. All I did was the typical OfficeSpace Samir steering wheel shake but it was pretty big for me.

Poor car. It just doesn't deserve the Texas weather. The A/C just doesn't seem strong enough to cool it and I can just sense the decals on the sides melting in the sun.

Question from someone important

Someone important: (condescendingly) Why isn't your favorite color purple anymore?
Jane: Oh I just change every once in a while.
Someone important: So what is your favorite color now?
Jane: Well, I'm not set. I'm stuck between red and green.
Someone important: So...brown.

1st Mission Exposed

AGENT 48, if you wish to continue to begin your highly confidential mission, please press "Continue".

[*Continue*]

AGENT 48, as you know, you were chosen from over 4000 to become one of the top anticipated levels of the year. For this, I applaud.

[Stadium applause heard from speakers]

Now, your first mission will be exposed to you. Please attach the cords provided in the hatch above you to your temples on either side of your head. These will read your inner thoughts. In order to qualify to proceed with the mission, you must have a brain wave of 480-560 tps.

[Hatch opens, revealing wires and instructions in German. *Attaches*]

[7 beeps, pause, 2 beeps, pause, long beeeeeeeeeeep]

We will now proceed.

AGENT 48, your first mission will involve the satisfaction for mortal hunger. Surrounding your city of settlement, we have strategically placed hundreds of food preparation houses. Most of these prepare food at high speed. Of these places you must choose. With the preloaded credit card you will now find in your front pocket, you will need to drive your provided FORD FIESTA and find and enter a "fast food" establishment of your choice of favor and proceed to speak with the cash handling representative. You will need to make it clear that you will need each item featured on the menu above you. The representative may ask you to repeat this order. I give permission to do so until this person is clearly made known your request. Once payment has been transferred, you must wait until each item is prepared correctly.

As you can see from the hologram, there will be more than just you. In order for this to happen, you will need to provide your own choice of help. We will name these as trustees. The trustees aide you in transfer of the prepared food to your destination.

[hologram animates]

AGENT 48, when the food is finished, you and the trustees will need to take the food in your provided FORD FIESTA to a public establishment of your choice and disperse it all civilians.

You, nor the trustees, may NOT consume of any of the food.

The mission must be recorded by you or any trustee with any media device, including your provided SONY WEBBIE HD CAMERA.

[long beeeeeeeeeeeeeep]

This mission is to take place on the twenty first of the 5th month of our calendar during the year 2009 AD.

[another long beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep]

AGENT 48, keep in mind one thing:

I did it for the lulz. ;)

The mission is true though. Keep posted for new info coming soon.

Airplane Log